To Ditch, Or Not To Ditch?

I've got some thinking to do, with regard to my 101.

One of my pet goals has been the reading of all of the Pulitzer Prize winners in the "novel" category. I have noticed, though, that in the last year or so, while I've enjoyed reading fiction (mostly short, but a couple of notable novels), my priority has clearly been theology. It's likely because I'm a limping, bumbling mess of a spiritual being, and I like reading what other, smarter messes have written before me.

I think that this priority is well-placed; I am a 28 year old man, trying to form and reform his character into the likeness of Christ, knowing full well the work will never be done--not by him, not in his lifetime. I got a late start, and I feel like it's worth the effort to commit as much of my energy as possible to getting up to speed.

I want my walk with God to be a lifelong one... I want to explore every doubt I have in exhaustive detail... In my old age, I want to know God as my Creator, my Savior, and my old friend--with whom I've been speaking, battling, and alongside whom I've been ambling for my whole adult life.

I don't want to do the fully-blind trust thing ever again. I believe that God appreciates my doubts and my shortcomings, because it means that I'm working it through, and really thinking. I may well be wrong. I want to give God my mind... I wish that He'd give it back to me full of answers to questions, but that would obviate the living process.

So I read. And I think the priority in that area falls to theological works, not the award-winning canon of literary fiction since the mid-20th century, deserving as that canon is of my attention.

I suppose this means some re-working is in order. I like that this project can be fluid.